If you're like us, you're still perfecting the all-too-important art of nailing Mother's Day. Maybe you spaced on placing a call to Mom back in college, or got to the florist in the eleventh hour and had to settle for a cactus. Maybe you showed up in a T-shirt looking a little hungover from that double-overtime playoff game the night before. Regardless, she's your mom, and she forgave you because she's your mom. Moms are good that way to their offspring. That's why there's a friggin' holiday named after them.
But you know who moms don't forgive quite as easily when they screw up the Oscars of Hallmark holidays? Their husbands. Yep, the baby-daddy needs to get it right. And know this: Without help, you will not get it right. But help has arrived in the form of moms' mom, GQ contributor, Twitter conqueror, and best-selling literary superstar (one fail-safe gift idea for any mom is a copy of her devastatingly honest, hilarious memoir, Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar), Kelly Oxford. Kelly answered our questions to try to save us from ourselves and rescue mother's day for the mothers of our children. You know, the ones who do all your laundry while you sneakily watch SportsCenter and "work from home."
GQ: Can you explain how a mom will be feeling on Mother's Day?
Kelly Oxford: Mother's Day is kind of like a birthday and Valentine's Day combined. Like a birthday, you want to be personally recognized for your greatness. And like Valentine's Day, it's a celebration of love. All you need to know is this: Make her feel like the most special person in your life. Because frankly, without her, you'd probably be miserable and using Rubbermaid containers as side tables.
Kelly Oxford: Mother's Day is kind of like a birthday and Valentine's Day combined. Like a birthday, you want to be personally recognized for your greatness. And like Valentine's Day, it's a celebration of love. All you need to know is this: Make her feel like the most special person in your life. Because frankly, without her, you'd probably be miserable and using Rubbermaid containers as side tables.
GQ: What kinds of mistakes do men make on Mother's Day?
Kelly Oxford: Breakfast in bed is great, but only with a note on the tray that says "We cleaned the kitchen." I would rather eat a Luna bar (fiber kind) for breakfast than have to spend a Sunday morning cleaning up a "kids made breakfast with dad" kitchen.
Kelly Oxford: Breakfast in bed is great, but only with a note on the tray that says "We cleaned the kitchen." I would rather eat a Luna bar (fiber kind) for breakfast than have to spend a Sunday morning cleaning up a "kids made breakfast with dad" kitchen.
GQ: What gifts would you recommend (on a budget or otherwise)?
Kelly Oxford: On a budget: Clean the house (and don't leave her in charge of the kids while you do it), scrub sinks and toilets, pick everything up, and put all of the clean laundry away. We HATE putting clean laundry away. Everybody hates putting clean laundry away.
Kelly Oxford: On a budget: Clean the house (and don't leave her in charge of the kids while you do it), scrub sinks and toilets, pick everything up, and put all of the clean laundry away. We HATE putting clean laundry away. Everybody hates putting clean laundry away.
Budget not a factor? Call her best friend and find out what she's had her eye on; gifting the item she's been coveting is the best surprise.
GQ: What should a husband NEVER do on Mother's Day?
Kelly Oxford: If your wife says, "Don't get me anything for Mother's Day" don't call her a liar, but please know that she's a big fat liar. One year I said, "Oh, don't worry about Mother's Day, it's not a big deal." And spent the whole day thinking, "If I get nothing I'm going to die."Never not do something for Mother's Day.
Kelly Oxford: If your wife says, "Don't get me anything for Mother's Day" don't call her a liar, but please know that she's a big fat liar. One year I said, "Oh, don't worry about Mother's Day, it's not a big deal." And spent the whole day thinking, "If I get nothing I'm going to die."Never not do something for Mother's Day.
GQ: What should a husband ALWAYS do on Mother's Day?
Kelly Oxford: LET HER SLEEP IN.
Kelly Oxford: LET HER SLEEP IN.